Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Settle Down

The constant commotion of life has me stressed. Life has become routine. Yet, everyday is a new adventure. My emotions go in and out with the tides. So, bipolar behavior is the best way to describe it.

Money is an issue. Expectations weight me down. There is a light at the end of the tunnel but the tunnel appears to never end. Never has my smile been more thin despite more money in my grasp than ever before.

My return was heralded. For a short period. Clashing of egos echoed battle cries during this time.
Casualties were heavy. Losses were severe. And a confusion of whom reflected in my iris and who was reflected in mirror troubles me. I feel I am marching through a town of lost souls hoping mine I can hold.

Hoodie up to keep my thoughts in. Or to shield my face from on seeing eyes. I am the topic of much conversation as if I am a folklore. Reasons why? I am puzzled myself. All this talk about me but never to me.

Here is where the fingers start getting pointed. I could have been around. But I no longer feel welcomed in my domain. Friends are not the same. The truth is merely a concept. And sin is only thing thats brings them happiness.

At least I have my mind as mine. No longer altered by Dee pressing me to act in a foreign matter.

Accomplishments have been made. But... I am my biggest critic. Never satisfied, thirsty for more. Like drinking from a fresh spring in a dessert. Wondering is it real or an illusion, and if there is a difference between the two.

My gears are starting to spin, my body is starting to accept punishment, and things seem to be falling in place rather than continuing to free fall.

Static is evident but change is inevitable.

I would like to exchange my change to Mr.Obama for Hope. But ironically I already have Hope.

Buddha keeps encouraging me "Desire less".

I desire more.

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