High School

I miss that time when everything was planned out & the future felt limitless.

That awkward moment when...

Someone you used to be close to randomly deletes you from Facebook. It stings a bit.

Ummm yeah I remember when...

I wrote good shit.

Finally Human.

I think I have finally regained that feeling of being human.
Opposed to the feeling of robotic reactions to interactions.
Excited about the future, and nervous about the traction.
Hoping to find the final piece of mind to complete mine.

quiet storms brew

silence shatters the echos of a thousand screams

F is for Friend

Some friends are there for you thick and thin
Others are there for you like a cheap trick for grins-11-18-10

growth.

regret.

Trying not to think about her

Drowning my thoughts in dark liquor

But it’s hard not to wonder if love heals the heart quicker

And if it does I want no part; I like being broken hearted

Because loneliness makes me see the beauty in where we started

How is it, no matter where I go, you seem to follow?

Catching me unexpected, memories hard to swallow

Smile etched upon your lips, behind it hides a frown

The same face that I make when whenever you come around

I’d rather feel awkward then feel alone

Remember the flowers when I left you when you were still at home?

Of course you do, they won’t let you forget

Real Emotion Grown Rapidly Earnest & True
                          regret.

Collapse.

The situation in which people are usually at their most attractive and interesting shortly before a total personality collapse.

- Douglas Coupland - Player One, Pg.221

Dancing with a Devil in a Tight Dress

Dancing with lust is like playing with fire
You will be burned alive by your own desire

Friendships Sink

I HATE YOU for being so charismatic
I HATE YOU for 'acting' genuine
I HATE YOU for disappearing when I needed you
AND
I HATE MYSELF for believing you actually cared

BUT maybe we aren't so different after all...

Confession #6

Old School.

I'd rather write on paper but then my words become more vulnerable.

boXed in.

I feel entrapped in, this world we are wrapped in
Placed in a box, I can't leave but they can enter
I can hear my inner voice clapping
While a chorus of boos is just my depression's reaction
To the positive fashion of which my ego has fastened
He envies my happiness, says it is not happening
But from nightmares I wake up to dreams
And from night terrors I wake up to screams
What does this all mean?
If life is but a dream, I'm on shits creek without a paddle
But I don't focus on energy on things beyond my control
I just keep moving forward, you just have to let them go
To all the friends I have lost, your true colors were starting to show
You can throw dirt on a diamond but in the right light it is gunna glow

high school party.

Buddha Speaks.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him. -Buddha  

Missing Hearts

It's hard to find the pulse of a heartbeat when your whole heart is missing.
You have wholeheartedly searched for it many times in the faces of possible flames that were always quickly extinguished without hesitation.
While you enjoy playing with fire, no fires have set a blaze the candle inside your esophagus.
Her soft lips are the gateway to conversation and possibly a soft kiss.
She holds your heart in her palms halfheartedly and deservingly so.
You once broke into her heart even though she would have given you the key.
Then you made the mistake to run and leave like a coward; when your approval meant most.
To be fair, your judgment had been victim of gossip from the glossed lips of the guilty third parties in question.
To follow one's mind in area of affairs was an error when surely you must have known this was a matter of two hearts.
When two hearts break, tears leave the eyes of angelic faces.
When two hearts break, the stars are no longer in alignment.
When two hearts break, Cupid is responsible cleaning up the pieces.
When two hearts are truly meant to be side by side like a locket as one; they will continue looking for the missing half, even after the aftermath of love forced trauma.
Is it only after the heart breaks that then the heart is capable of finding another mate to mend it back together.

Drops like Stars

We plot, we plan, we assume things are going to go
A certain way and then they don’t and we find ourselves
In a new place, a place we haven’t been before, a place
We never would have imagined on our own,
And so it was difficult and unexpected and maybe even
Tragic and yet it opened us up and freed us to see
Things in a whole new way
Suffering does that—
It hurts,
But it also creates.
How many of the most significant moments in your
Life came not because it all went right, but because
It all fell apart?
It’s strange how there can be art in the agony…
-Rob Bell

Un-Thinkable

Young women making big mistakes, another unplanned baby
They out living wild, like most single ladies
But they are only 18, so they heed no consequence
And they are only 18, so no condoms meant
The summer spent indoors with no bikinis'
My mind is spent trying to make sense of all these things
Girl I could have married, the one up in my dreams?
No probably not, but she could have came close, doors close
Others open, but we don't always like we find, behind 
Girl let me ease your mind, unwind, like some cassette tapes
Was it really worth it? Tell me was the sex great?
I know no one's perfect and I would always text late
You sure came close, it's a shame we had never date
They got me on a guilt trip like I put you in this position
If I told you I had fallen for you would you ever listen?

Simple Life.

When ever did life become so simple?
Wondering about partying. 
Social scenes I was never in before I am starring in.
Hopeless scenes surrounding the lead actor as the film rolls.
The price we pay for happiness sometimes has it's grim toll.
And my thin soul, is etching out emotions as if were a pencil.
Numbness mutes the thought behind every detail.
My only escape can be purchased through every retail.
Searching for love, I only I mean well with every female.
I have never regretted anything I've done, just what I haven't.
And the faces reflecting in my eyes could be in beauty pageants.
But their looks are deceiving just like some mannequins.
Morality questions if I'll join the dark side like Anakin.
They tell me that I can't win.
I am my only friend.
Life is but a dream, when I wake up does it end?