This is anti Edward Cullen, cock roaches crawling
This ain't for English class, this ain't for your moms friend
This is (insert name here) at hogwarts, bring a wand
Preferably one made with spell check, never wrong
This rhyme ain’t approved by p-e-t-a
All right this may offend my pokemon pets, okay
With my wand I test spells on pikachus
This should make pokemon masters go protest, “hey quit it dude”
Like Jacob Black I drop fangs in women
Edward Cullens sulking because he can’t get them
I know human beings are so tempting
I bit Renesmee (Reh-NEZ-may), her neck glistened
A werewolf, with more bite than bark
Steadily on the hunt for blood, land shark
Growl at the moon, spit black magic
This is death of mythical creatures, I have had it
(pause) cue the violins
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